Will having divorced parents effect my own marriage?

happinesscentered blog

My parents went through an extremely messy divorce when I was 14. Not to mention, they weren’t the kind of parents that only fought in the bedroom and kept a good face in front of the kids.
Several times throughout childhood I remember a police car would pull up to my house and say that the neighbors were worried because they heard yelling and screaming coming form my house’s direction – (You couldn’t even see our neighbors house from where we lived) – If that gives you an idea of how loud they were fighting.
Me and my husband have had quite a few talks about how my parent’s marriage and then divorce sometimes affects our own marriage. My husband believes that I have an extremely hard time trusting him because my own father’s infidelity towards my mother over several years….and if I am honest with myself I would have to agree with him.
I think that children are affected by relationships that they watch growing up. I’m definitely not saying that people that come from “divorced families” can’t grow up to have “normal” relationships. I’m just saying that I think in some ways it makes an impact on how they view relationships. I also think it helps to become aware of this because you can consciously make a decision to counteract that way of “false” thinking. For instance, I always have to tell myself, “hey, this isn’t how I should view my marriage, not every man naturally cheats on their wife” and just because my parents relationship was like that doesn’t mean that mine is going to be like that.
I’m so thankful that my husband grew up watching his parents have a “healthy marriage” but I am even more thankful that he takes the time to realize how different of a childhood we both had and to help me overcome my insecurities about marriages and relationships šŸ™‚

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